5 Years A Poker Player - Changes, Lessons and Future
It has been more than five years since I started playing poker for a living. This post is a contemplation on how life as a professional poker player has been. That means a reflection on my reasons for choosing this path, lessons learned, and plans ahead.
To give you context, this is my current situation: I got married 2.5 years ago, just turned 33 and after spending the first two years of my career in Goa, I now live in a peaceful corner of a metro. I almost exclusively play NLHE cash games (<=NL50k INR) with a handful of tournaments thrown in.
With that out of the way, let’s start with the biggest changes in why I play poker.
Reasons for Poker - Then vs Now
The change in desires that drive you towards your purpose (along with changes in the purpose itself) is a natural progression of life.
1. Competition
The drama and the emotions associated with sports enthral me. I had wanted to take up sports as a career option but an unfortunate injury at 13 meant I couldn’t. But the allure of a competitive sports career never left me. So when I discovered poker after a few regular jobs and running my own startup, it posed itself as a very attractive career choice.
Now, things are different. Besting others in a competition doesn’t give me the same thrill. My definition of a good life no longer includes locking horns with others on a daily basis. Instead, now when I need to compete, I look inwards and towards my past self.
2. Freedom of Time & Schedule
It is the most beautiful thing about poker and has remained unchanged. Whenever I find myself disillusioned from the game, I remind myself of this incredible perk. The luxury of an afternoon nap without any obligations is unparalleled. And this freedom has only grown over the years. As I became better, I played higher stakes which means that I don’t need to grind as much as I needed to for the same amount of money. This brings me to the next point.
3. Money
The ceiling for the money you can make in poker when compared with most regular jobs is much higher. With your rise in stakes, the potential to earn more increases. The main change for me here is that this need is not as urgent. I still like to make money of course, but I don’t mind investing time in other areas to see what might work.
4. Balance
I wanted the aforementioned freedom to be able to write more. That hasn't happened. So if I have any regrets, this would be it. I underestimated the time and effort it requires to become really good at such a competitive game. This holds true for any skill. If you want to be great, balance goes out the window. Your craft becomes all-consuming. There is no other way. If there is, it's much more tedious. And now I want to get back that balance.
Major changes in reasons why I play poker
THE 5 BIGGEST LESSONS
Poker might seem like a game of cards, but it is a game you play versus yourself. Your opponents are just different versions that you've been or will be at different times. The challenge is to become the best version possible. And in this quest, these are the most important lessons I’ve learned.
1. Grind/Discipline - You have to grind, you have to put in the hours. There is no way around it. A few times, I tried to get by with a lighter work schedule but it is a risky choice. Sure, it might work sometimes, but then you leave a lot more to luck. Whereas, a good work ethic almost guarantees success.
2. Movement is crucial - Constant learning is essential. And I don't mean just in terms of new strategies although that won't hurt. I mean even in terms of learning better mindset management techniques. Staying still means getting left behind.
3. Game of love - Nick Kyrgios is one of the most talented tennis players active currently. But his current ranking is only 115 when he has the potential of a top 10 player. It's probably down to the fact that he calls Tennis his "part-time job" - not exactly a passion of his. You can see how this can translate to Poker as well. No love for the game = no success.
4. Mindset is everything - In the long run, a more stable but worse player wins vs a better but mercurial player. A month of good work can be ruined by a poor mindset-infused session. The amount of stuff that can be written about this can fill multiple books (like this, this, and this), so I’ll leave it here.
Side note: I’ve started an Instagram page that talks about some of this, it’s called Peace of Poker and it looks like this:
5. Process > Goals - Poker helped me become more process-oriented rather than goal-oriented. I was already on this path before taking up poker. It just accelerated this journey. Given that there is so much in the hands of luck, focusing on controlling the input variables makes more sense.
Sports mirror life. So it is no surprise that most of these lessons can be directly applied to our work and lives. There is another lesson, the most important one. And that's why it deserves a separate section in itself.
LEARNING HOW TO FAIL - THE OBSTACLE IS THE WAY
Out of all Ryan Holiday's excellent books, I liked 'The Obstacle is The Way' the most. A failure in our path - an obstacle - is not a setback. It is the path. It means that instead of feeling aversion to a failure, we should embrace it - for it means that we've uncovered another hidden pitfall in our journey to success.
I can quote countless examples of recurring failures from history - Edison and light bulbs, Abraham Lincoln and elections and so on. But I'll refrain from doing so because I am sure you know someone in your close vicinity who has persevered through many failures to success.
Given that poker is a game where you lose almost as often as you win, learning how to fail is the most important lesson you could learn outside of the game strategies itself. I would even say that a lack of technical finesse can be overcome by a better grip on handling failure.
Every bad session is an opportunity - not just to learn from the mistakes but also how to be a stronger, resilient person. It is an opportunity to have more empathy for yourself. It is a chance to zoom out and look at the bigger picture of your life.
Poker has taught me that life is a constant struggle of losing your bearings and getting back on track. Our endeavour should be to make that gap - the turnaround time shorter in every iteration.
THE FUTURE
I had an epiphany last year.
At the start of 2020, I had set myself a monetary goal for the year. I assumed that once I hit that lofty target, I’d be incredibly happy. So I worked a lot and hit that target, but I wasn’t. That extra money in the bank account didn’t make me any happier. There was no nirvana. And that’s when I realised, chasing more money is not the answer. To start, you have to find it in these three pillars:
“A calm mind, a fit body and a house full of love” - Naval Ravikant
A sense of connection with the world as a whole is what I am missing. The search for self-actualization (ref. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) is ongoing. One way that can be achievable seems to be by contributing to make others’ lives better - Giving is the best form of self-gratification. Writing is a medium through which I can do that right now. So expect more from me here.
Poker can be a difficult and lonely game and I was lucky to have some friends who helped me along the way. So if any of you ever need help, feel free to get in touch.
Wish you good luck ahead. And if you like my writing, leave your email address below so that I can let you know whenever I write something new.
