BLOG OF MAYANK JAIN
The Curious Case of Receding Interest
On why we lose interest in the things we love. And what to do about it.
Picture this diary entry:
Day -90: "Man, this song is so great. It would be so cool to play this in front of thousands of people."
D -70: "Slash is my God. He looks brilliant on stage. What a trip it would be!"
D -50: " {Insert friend’s name} plays so great. It would be so cool to do this on a moonlit night around a campfire at the beach.
D -20: "Okay, I've decided. I want to play guitar in band."
D -5: "Guitar class enrolled. The best guitar bought. Let's do this."
D 1: "Hmmm. This is hard man. My fingers hurt too much."
D 3: "This is soooo slow. I can't play a song yet."
D 5: "Fuck it. I am sleeping in today."
D 6: "Oh, I can't go today again man. Have to go to that party."
D 7: "What, it's 6 again? Fuck it, I'll go tomorrow. I need to finish this TV show tonight."
D 8: “Oh look - cat videos!”
D 9: "Wowa! These guys have gotten so better than me at this. We started at the same time. I guess I don't have it in me."
D 10: ....................................................................................
Insert something else instead of learning guitar - running, painting, writing, photography, designing, dancing - whatever it is that is your passion. Can you see this happening to you?
I call this The Curious Case of Receding Interest. You pick a thing you think you like and want to become better at. Over a course of time, you find it tougher to maintain the level of enthusiasm with which you started it. You invest less time. After an accumulated lack of effort, you give up and move on to the next shiny thing.
Most of us are susceptible to an attack of this syndrome. I learnt this the hard way while writing this post. Two months have passed since I started working on it. Here's what happened:
Sitting 1: A light bulb switched on shining light on this idea in my head. I scribbled down the thoughts and the basic structure. This gave me instant gratification of creating something. And, instead of finishing the post, I moved onto something else.
Sitting 2: The drudgery began. Now that I had the idea written down, it was a lot less fun to do the hard work of completion. So after writing a little, I opened Facebook and whiled away my time.
Sitting 3: I had some free time on my hands. But, I decided to clean up the house a little bit. And then wrote during whatever little time I had.
Sitting 4: Wrote some. It was becoming and arduous task to finish this. So, I opened a few football videos and watched those.
Sitting 5: I got frustrated with my indiscipline. Thus, I sat down with a pledge to not get up before finishing this. I made decent progress but still couldn't make it into a finished product.
Sitting 6: Today, after 2 months since the beginning of the post, I sit again hoping to finish this.
Can we find a cause and solution to this problem? Let’s investigate. The irony of being the victim as well as the healer isn’t lost on me. But, let’s give it a shot.
WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?
1. It gets tough - Most things, when looked at from the outside, are simple. Only after getting into the nuances do you realize that growing beyond an amateur level needs a lot of hard work and dedication.
2. Novelty wears off - I like doing a lot of things to experience them. But once I learn the basics, the novelty wears off. Once the curiosity is satiated, I move on.
Read: Two Weeks Sprint - The Technique I use to learn a new skill efficiently
3. Is less fun than you imagined - Browsing Instagram pictures of travel photographers, it is easy to assume that their lives are fun (not saying they are not). But, glamorizing the lifestyle at the cost of forgetting the realities of the job is suicidal. You don't know how many hours they spend in the editing room or how many shots do they painfully discard to find that single right one.
4. Has steep learning curve, high OFF* and not enough time - Complexity increases exponentially. You'll find that there’s a lot you don't know that you don't know.
*(OFF - Optimal Fun Frequency) Reference: How to Have More Fun at Fun
5. You find a new, shinier toy and expect it to provide you all the fun - Growth, engagement and DIMs** are present when we extend ourselves beyond the ordinary. For example, say you have a new toy car. You can play with it by running it on a flat surface. Or, you can immerse deeper by making race tracks using pillows, books, hard surfaces (something I used to do).
**(DIMs - Deep Immersion Moments) Reference: How to Have More Fun at Fun
WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT?
- Prepare yourself with the knowledge of how tough a certain thing is going to be. This is not to deter you from doing that activity but to give you a fair perspective of what you are getting into. I read about the personal experiences of people who have lived the life I want to live. During my struggles with practicing my craft, I found comfort in knowing that others have faced similar challenges before me.
- Take one small step at a time. Writing this post was hard for me. So, all I did was to take one paragraph at a time and make it the best I could. Learn one chord, run for 5 minutes, paint one element of the picture, take the first step, however small it may be.
- Observe the feeling which causes the interruption in your practice - whether it is procrastination, difficulty level, laziness or attraction towards a new thing. Observe the feeling, and then sit with it for some time. Notice where your mind is taking you. Do you want to go there? Do you really want to open a new tab and check Facebook? Give yourself a few seconds to deliberate what you want to do. Often you’ll find that with a few moments of thought you can overcome that barrier to creation. But if you can’t and your mind is still seeking distraction, ignore it*** and do your task anyway.
***Reference: The One Skill to Stick to your Resolutions
Receding interest is a big barrier to experiencing deep emotions that come with the mastery of a craft. I hope this post helps you in constantly choosing the tough but useful over the easy, and momentarily satisfying. Thanks for reading.
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The Catharsis of Creation
Write, paint, stitch, shoot, make something. It seems hard at first, but once you actually get started, it feels wonderfully relaxing. It relieves you of negativity, exhaustion and boredom.
Last night, I felt really tired and confused, as if in a daze. That was how I had been for most part of the day. There was no apparent reason for me to feel this way. But, emotions never arrive in tune with our concept of logic. To disengage myself from this feeling, I tried to find means to entertain myself.
I picked up a book but reading seemed labored. Then, I put on the latest Apple Keynote, but it looked boring. Talking to someone didn't interest me nor did taking a walk. Something was amiss.
It was still early to go to bed so I decided to sit down and finish up some of the pending tasks for my blog. Gradually, I found myself in the groove of creating and moving things. One and a half hours later, I found myself fresher and more attentive than I had been throughout the day. And, I was able to pen down a draft of the post you are reading right now.
Creation is cathartic.
By creation, I don't mean that you have to do Big things. You don't have to create an epic novel or a magnificent painting, or the most ingenious movie ever. You don't have to do it all right away.
Post-Its with small Haikus on my wall
When you are stuck, start small. Maybe, write a couple of lines on a post it and stick it on a wall.
Paint a bottle. Take a video as you cook something, edit it in an editor.
Or just spend time playing with creation tools online like Incredibox.
Little Buddha on an Old Monk bottle - Not my work
It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to exist. You created something where nothing was present earlier. There was zilch before you put your skills into it to bring something to life. Pat yourself on the back, it's a big deal.
Don't worry about creating something small, casual or flimsy. Creation doesn't have a quota that you would not have enough left in you to make something serious. Quite the contrary. Creating these small projects could actually serve as a fertile ground for you to build your next big thing.
I had planned that I would not publish another new post on the blog until I release the book. I imagined that this would allow me to pour all my energy into finishing up the book. But, I felt something stuck inside of me which affected my writing process. Perhaps, I should have realised that I would derive energy from the simple act of writing whether it is on the book or not is irrelevant.
Brewed Green Tea. Made and edited a video
The energies you derive from doing these small, off the cuff projects, coalesce to support your big dream project. Human race has been moved forward by people who created, in their small chambers, irrespective of what is going to happen to their projects, simply for the joy of creating.
It is almost addictive like a drug whose fix you need regularly. Once you experience the high it gives you, you can never turn back. Only that it is much more beneficial and progresses us towards our quest to find meaning in our lives.
The Art of Showing Your Creativity - Advice by Austin Kleon
If you are a creative, take a few moments to consider the following points:
You believe your art should speak for itself
'Marketing' and 'promotion' discomfort you
You want your work to be discovered by more people
You want your art to get the recognition you think it deserves
You don't think you have a thick skin to deal with the trolls which come with sharing your work online
You want to add value to people's lives through your work
While sharing your art, you fear stepping on the wrong side of the fine line between adding value and spamming
As a writer, I associate myself to a lot of the above points. And so do a lot of other creatives. Painters, musicians, photographers, designers, filmmakers travellers, entrepreneurs and many other creatives are going through the same struggle of staying relevant, having their work seen by more people and at the same time maintaining the honesty and integrity in sharing your work.
Addressing these fears and issues, is a great book Show Your Work by Austin Kleon. This is a sort of manifesto of the current times for creatives to share their work the right way. Here are some of my notes from the book with some commentary. Hope you get around to reading the book and find it as useful and relevant as I did.
Note: Excerpts from the book are in italics
WHY SHOULD YOU SHARE
Once we start creating, our self-doubt tells us that your work is not good enough or maybe just not relevant to the people. But, more often than not, that's not the case. We grossly underestimate the usefulness of our own work.
“To someone, it may be better than you dare to think”
When you share ideas, sometimes conversations start around it. That is your contribution in this world. Give what you have, don't be a hoarder.
Scenius - Not all of us are geniuses. But, we grow with the help of the scene around us.
Find a scenius, pay attention to what others are sharing, and then start taking note of what they’re not sharing. Be on the lookout for voids that you can fill with your own efforts, no matter how bad they are at first.
She can share her sketches and works-in-progress, post pictures of her studio, or blog about her influences, inspiration, and tools - the thing she really cares about. By, doing this, she can really connect with the people who care about the same things as hers.
The biggest takeaway for me was the simple fact that what you find trivial might actually be very useful for someone else.
"You can't find your voice until you use it"
Sometimes, we wait for a while to find our own voice. But, how would we find it until we've used it in different scenarios? What niche of photography would you like until you start clicking different settings? Not everyone knows for sure as to which format of design they prefer until they try their hands at them.
Remember:
Work doesn't speak for itsef. Even the renaissance had to be found.
WHAT TO SHARE:
''What are you working on?' Stick to that question and you'll be good. Don't show your lunch or latte, show your work.
Before sharing anything, put it through the 'So What' Test. Would people care about what you are showing?
“Turn your flow into stock. Flow is the feed. It’s the posts and the tweets. Stock is the durable stuff. It’s the content your produce that is as interesting in two months (or two years) as it is today. It spreads slowly but surely, building fans over time”
Sloan says the magic formula is to maintain your flow while working on your stock in the background.
Your influences are all worth sharing because they clue people in to who you are and what you do - sometimes even more than your own work.
Share your process - this is an obvious yet fantastic piece of advice. A lot of people want to know how you do what you do and it can be very helpful for them. If you are signed up to my mailing list, you would see a direct result of this in my emails. I have started sharing things that inspire me, books I read, music I find therapeutic. By doing this, I hope I can connect with people who might enjoy what I write in my posts. Remember, you don't have to ensure that everyone in the world appreciates your art. You need to find only a handful to form a tribe who supports you when you need help and celebrates your victories.
HOW TO SHARE:
Build Sharing into your routine.
Don't give in to the pressure to self-edit too much. Don't try to be hip or cool. Being open and honest about what you like is the best way to connect with people who like those things, too.
People like to hear good stories. Learn how to speak about your work in a manner which evokes emotion. Read books by good authors and notice how they weave stories.
“The cat sat on a mat is not a story. The cat sat on the dog’s mat is a story.”
On Structure:
A good story can be created in the following structure: Once upon a time, there was _______. Every day, ______--. One day, ______. Because of that, _____. Because of that, ______. Until finally, ____________
There's a way to tell open -ended stories, where we acknowledge that we're snack-dab in the middle of a story, and we don't know how it all ends.
The minute you learn something, turn around and teach it to others. Share your reading lists. Point to helpful reference materials. Teach what you know. Share your trade secrets.
This is what I aim to achieve with this post.
Make stuff you love and talk about stuff you love and you'll attract people who love that kind of stuff. You want hearts not eyeballs.
"Compulsive avoidance of embarrassment is a form of suicide." If you spend your lfe avoiding vulnerabiliti, you and your work will never truly connect with other people. Learn to take a punch.
Don't quit your show.
You can't plan on anything; you can only go about your work, as Isak Dinesen wrote, "every day, without hope or despair." You can't count on success; you can only leave open the possibility for it, and be ready to jump on and take the ride when it comes for you.
How much of this would you be willing to use? I'd love to hear your opinions, suggestions and questions. Drop in an email or write in the comments below.
And as Kleon says, Credit is always due, so a hat tip to BrainPickings which has been a major source of inspiration for this post's format.