BLOG OF MAYANK JAIN
How to Live Life
Suppose you have two choices. Two concepts, either of which you can mould your life after: Greatness or Happiness. Which one would you choose?
Suppose you have two choices. Two concepts, either of which you can mould your life after: Greatness or Happiness. Which one would you choose?
Let's start with an example. You have two job offers:
Option 1. A young, fledgling startup with promising potential.
No one is sure how it is going to pan out in the long run. But, in the wise words of Sheryl Sandberg, the company is a ‘rocket ship’.
You will get good money, maybe not as much as your market value. You will get stock options which are potentially worth millions. You will work on something that you are passionate about. You will change the world - whether that is top 1% of the population or sub-Saharan Africa is a topic we’ll cover later.
You will be surrounded by brilliant people. As they say, you become average of the 5 people in the room. Accordingly, you would find personal intellectual growth. You will wake up every morning excited to go to work. You would be aiming for greatness, 'putting a dent in the universe'.
There is no downside right? Except:
You will work unimaginably long hours and most weekends. You will not take vacations. You will not spend enough time with your family. Your hobbies will take a back seat. You risk losing your job any time the company fails. There will be a lot of stress towards making sure that the startup survives and then grows at a rapid pace. For better or for worse, the startup would be your life.
Nope, Option 1 is not this kind of job
Option 2. A medium to big sized organisation.
It is in a stable state with no tangible chance of drowning. You are assured of the best market salary. You work 8 hours a day. You get 20 vacation days a year + 10 public holidays. These are besides the sick leaves which you take on Fridays to devise an extended weekend. You go for one foreign vacation a year. An yearly appraisal of 10-20% and a decent sized bonus the size of a month or two’s salary is assured. You get time to pursue your hobbies and spend time with your family.
Life is rosy. But:
You will live weekend to weekend. You are not excited to wake up in the morning to go to work. Monday morning is a punch in the stomach. By Wednesday, you start looking forward to Friday. On Friday, you go to a happy hours place to drink your miseries away. You are not the master of your own time - 40 hours every week. You are a cog in the wheel, at the mercy of your boss who is a character straight out of a Dilbert comic strip. You will have existential angst.
So? Where would you want to work? Would you want to go for number 1 and chase the romantic notion of changing the world? Or would you choose number 2 and seek contentment with life as it comes?
Let me help you out by elaborating a bit.
#WHAT DO WE TALK ABOUT WHEN WE TALK ABOUT GREATNESS?
Greatness no. 1
The standard narrative of greatness is one of overcoming odds and tribulations to effect lives of a large number of people. The hero of the story conquers the devils on the road with hard-work and determination. These are the people whom we consider our inspirations - Entrepreneurs, scientists, social change makers, sport stars. They have moved the human race forward and left a legacy behind for others to learn from.
Moonshots aim for Greatness no. 1
One of such people is Elon Musk - my modern day hero. If you don't know who he is, you are browsing the wrong websites. All of us would agree that all of what Musk is doing, has done, and plans to do, is super humanly. He fits the bill of our narrative perfectly.
In an interview, when asked whether he gets to spend time with his children, Musk replies that he emails them sometimes. Ponder over it for a few seconds. He doesn’t see his kids often, and sacrifices this time to build a better world for us instead.
Do you, like I, who has grown up with conventional middle class values, find this shocking and painful? Would you be willing to take this route?
Perhaps he has made a choice he is ready to live with. After all, building epic things does have a charm of its own. And the money isn’t too bad either.
But, money can also be made without having to break virgin grounds everyday.
Look around you, for example, to your next browser tab. Does it say something like the following?
- 10 hilariously grumpy cat memes that have won the Internet today. 5th one made me laugh so hard. LOL!
- This man went into a cave. You wouldn't believe what happened next.
- 17 MUST-GO places that you HAVE to go before you turn 30
This - creating lists based click-bait headlines which coerce us to devour poorly researched, badly worded, piece of crap they call an article - is a lucrative business.
But, such work is not taking the human race forward, not creating any dent in the universe - this is probably shitting on the fucking thing. But, they make money. Lots of it. Because they have understood how to suck out our most valuable asset - our attention. The junk food they serve is gratifying in the moment but leaves us feeling hollow.
It's not just them. There are many others whose end-all of existence is making more money and how they get there is besides the point. But since they make good money, they are considered great businessmen. This horse vision towards making more money by hook or crook is Greatness no. 2
Do you see yourself working in such a company? Would you be able to sleep at night knowing that you've essentially wasted half of your day and by proxy, half of your life, doing nothing but moving the needle in some company's revenue sheet?
If you said Yes, then you would love what I have to say next.
One of those dots is probably the big blue planet we call home.
The context of your hard work (for e.g. top 1% vs sub-Saharan Africa) may actually be much less important than my grandiose proclamations betray. I mean aren't we all going to die after spending a nanosecond on the grand cosmic scale. Then, who is to judge that building space travel ventures is grander than conjuring up 10 funniest cats with santa hats lists? You might as well do whatever makes you decent money without worrying about the bigger questions of life.
Don’t rush into choosing any of these definition over the other. There is yet another form of Greatness no. 3: Overcoming your own personal limitations and achieving something larger than your own self.
The worthy of this glory are the single moms who work two jobs to earn bread for their family.
Or the young kid who studies hard to become a decent human being fighting against poverty and deep rooted social inertia.
Or maybe, it is one of you.
For example, one Mr. G3 has financial troubles at home. The bread-earner of the family encounters a tragic accident which renders him incapable of doing any meaningful work. Mr. G3 thus takes it upon himself to support the family. He works at a regular job to send some money home. He has killed his dream of building a company or becoming a painter because he knows that the journey to it is fraught with risks and uncertainty given the condition at home.
Where do all these acts of courage fit in? Are you willing to call this a life well lived?
Let's bring in the other bad boy in the fight. Presenting you, drum rolls please - Happiness.
#WHAT'S THIS MUMBO-JUMBO ABOUT HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT?
When we talk about contentment and happiness, we imagine bald heads and orange robes assembled in an ashram to practice meditation. Like this ex-Top Gear anchor who became a Buddhist nun. We think of these lives as stripped away from reality and irrelevant to our society. Though, we acknowledge that they do seem serene.
On the other extreme, we look at dope-heads and addicts and feel that they are living shitty lives and wasting it all away. They live what in our minds are unhappy lives.
But, life is absurd. All your pleasures, pains, fights, lovers are going to die with you in some years. Nobody knows for sure what happens after we die - whether all our good deeds have any effect on our after-life, if any such thing exists. Thus, a lot of our consented social norms and values break down. If there are no repercussions of your present birth's actions on your after life, then you can do whatever you want to. Love, compassion, not hurting others, theft, murders all become just choices without anyone to tell which one's right and which one's not.
So, are the extra 2 hours you spend in office every day to rise the corporate ladder faster really worth it? Is sacrificing the weekend worth the higher salary (and the extra stress that comes along with it)? What is the need of all of this extra misplaced labor?
I believe that more than happiness/greatness, we need to feel Relevant- through fame, fortune or respect. The act of me writing these lines itself is a clarion call to have my thoughts acknowledged. This need of acknowledgement is a common phenomenon often veiled in one or the other form. Violence in the name of religion, spreading gossips, sharing our life’s stories on Facebook are all ways to seek relevance. These are methods (sometimes of madness) to validate our existence in this world. These acts comfort us by showing that our actions have effect in someone else’s life.
How does it fit in the context of greatness?
Great things call for sacrifice, pain, labor and many things which we otherwise would not endure in our daily lives - People giving up on parties to stay home at weekends to focus on their work - preparing for entrance examinations, writing a book, building a startup.
Or extreme sports people- the fliers (video below) or the no-rope mountain climbers. What drives them to take such risks?
Would you take such risks?
Perhaps, these driven, over-achievers and risk-takers, like Elon Musk, have found their purpose in this seemingly meaningless life by drowning themselves in what they do. It may not seem worth the pain from the outside but their work gives them a reason to wake up every morning and not want to kill themselves.
But, if the sole reason is to find purpose and a reason to exist, can we try and find it in things that are less taxing on ourselves and on those around us? Can we lower our ambitions and instead be content in where we are?
Good life, eh?
What if you don't have to BE something to be content? After all, isn’t happiness a state of mind?
What if you don't need to find a purpose? Let's say that making the most of each moment as it comes is your purpose?
What if you don't care about leaving a legacy, creating a dent whatever?
Can you spend your time watching TV the whole day, everyday?
Can you find peace with going to your office daily, providing for our family and living a regular life like the most of us around? Many people have.
#WHAT ARE WE REALLY AFTER?
Here’s a personal story from a few month before the release of my book:
It is a Friday night and I have just finished editing my book. It is meant for March end release and I am under pressure to finish it in time. After working on it for a bit, I felt like relaxing. I could have chosen to watch a movie, chill with my girlfriend, or get a drink.
But, I came to write this? Why?
1. Because I felt like I had to say something.
2. Because I've been conditioned to believe that by sacrificing your time with your loved ones, by giving up on temporary pleasures, you really achieve greatness. Whether it be a sport-star, or writer or anything. Thus, I am willing to forgo these momentary pleasures to spend time on my long term goal of becoming a better writer.
Is it worth it?
I guess for now it is, because during this act of writing, I don't feel that I am missing out anything else. There is no place that I'd rather be or there is not other thing that I'd rather be doing right now. I feel these are the kind of moments we find in our areas of passion. Even without all the comforts and pleasures, I am OK, in fact I am more than OK. I am perfectly content to be doing this right now.
This is what we all crave for. To find that one thing, that passion which makes you feel, not just once, but over and over again that this is what you'd rather do than anything else.
There is a cathartic pleasure-pain dynamic in the act of doing such things. Even my writing is a sacrifice. I mean, I could be doing simpler things like watching a movie, reading a book or even cleaning the house. But, I know that writing will eventually give me more contentment and that is why I persevere through it even though it is a harder thing to do.
And being true to one’s own self, not only the bravest thing to do but also the surest way to achieve greatness/happiness.
#END NOTES
Each one of us has to find and follow our own definition of Greatness/Happiness. We are susceptible to jealousy and fear of missing out. But, the worst way to live life would be to emulate someone else’s version of greatness/contentment. Slightly less worse would be to judge others whose version of it is different than yours. And almost criminal would be to just float by in this sea of human mass for whatever little time we are here.
Each one of us has to MAKE and not just find their own meaning in our lives. To find peace, contentment and relevance in whatever we choose to do. That one thing for which you are willing to go through all the troubles. All of us, our own different one. Let's just settle for that. I'll search for mine and I wish you bon voyage on the journey to find yours.
By the way, which job offer would you take?
If you like this post, please consider sharing.
Apathy is worse than criticism for a writer, thus I would love to hear what you thought of it - leave a comment below or email mj at mayankja.in
For more such articles, join my mailing list. Mails go out at most once a fortnight.
Related Articles
All images on this post via Unsplash
The Night's Beat
Went to a nice party. Wrote a short poem.
Sweat, spit, cologne,
Drips, flies, spreads,
On breasts, on faces and on palms holding others.
Alcohol, cigarette, recklessness,
Flows, burns, takes control,
Between conversations, between lips and in fantasies unfulfilled.
Lights, vibe, music,
Blind, lifts, sets in,
Your eyes, your souls and under your skin.
Friends, strangers, friendly strangers,
Smile, Dance, Groove,
Around you, against you and with the night's beat.
Restart - Lessons from one startup for another
One year of writing and 2 and half years of living before that culminates into this post, as I press the launch button for my first book.
Restart - Lessons from one startup for another, an ebook, is out now.
Available on Instamojo (Pay What You Want)
Amazon Kindle ($1.99)
I love books. As a kid, I spent most of my time at home either playing video games or reading books. Without a computer, books were my way of learning about the world around me. Early on, most of what I read were quiz books bought for 5 bucks from vendors on train journeys. It graduated to volumes of Children's Knowledge Bank which my Dad bought for me from railway platform book stalls. From my school library, I picked Famous Five, Secret Seven, Hardy Boys, Aesop's Fables and similar other short stories. Gradually, it came to reading Sherlock Holmes and George Orwell. And I have never looked back since.
People say that once you read a lot, it becomes easier to write. I guess it is fairly true. Although, I would also say that once you start writing, it becomes easier to read. Now, when I read something, I notice patterns, usage of words and style of language which I would have otherwise overlooked. I place myself in the author's seat and think how she would have thought of this word or that. It is a more absorbed and engaging experience.
The first memory I have of writing is as a small kid when I started maintaining a dairy. As I grew up, I made poems as a leisure activity. In school, I wrote essays and participated in debates which I drafted on my own.
After all those years, Restart is my first book. In recent past, I have written haikus, poems, articles of all lengths and even some fiction. And, finishing up a whole book is one of my proudest achievements.
But, this book is not literature. It is not a story in the regular sense of the word. There are no fancy phrases to describe a setting and no elaborate character descriptions. Instead, there is a simple, boiled down narrative of what happened at Musicfellas and what I learnt out of it.
If you like my writing style, I'd be happy. But, it's going to change significantly as I write more fiction or even non-fiction and I hope to keep your interest alive. If you don't like it, well, it's going to change anyways. So, stick around.
The book is priced as Pay What You Want. This was a payment mode we had at Musicfellas and we were pleasantly surprised not just by the transactions but by the generosity of people as well. Thus, I am happy to use it here.
stats from Pre-Order of the book to help you decide how much to pay:
Average Price (Including the free downloads): Rs. 95
Average Price (Excluding the free downloads): Rs. 273
I hope you read the book. It is a short, crisp read (according to others). If you enjoy it, please consider sharing it with your friends, enemies, loved ones, ex-girlfriends/boyfriends and anyone else you think might find it useful.
Please consider reviewing the book on Amazon: (Link to be updated)
This labor of love is the first book in what I hope to be many to come. Thank you for being a part of this. I hope you enjoy it.
The Catharsis of Creation
Write, paint, stitch, shoot, make something. It seems hard at first, but once you actually get started, it feels wonderfully relaxing. It relieves you of negativity, exhaustion and boredom.
Last night, I felt really tired and confused, as if in a daze. That was how I had been for most part of the day. There was no apparent reason for me to feel this way. But, emotions never arrive in tune with our concept of logic. To disengage myself from this feeling, I tried to find means to entertain myself.
I picked up a book but reading seemed labored. Then, I put on the latest Apple Keynote, but it looked boring. Talking to someone didn't interest me nor did taking a walk. Something was amiss.
It was still early to go to bed so I decided to sit down and finish up some of the pending tasks for my blog. Gradually, I found myself in the groove of creating and moving things. One and a half hours later, I found myself fresher and more attentive than I had been throughout the day. And, I was able to pen down a draft of the post you are reading right now.
Creation is cathartic.
By creation, I don't mean that you have to do Big things. You don't have to create an epic novel or a magnificent painting, or the most ingenious movie ever. You don't have to do it all right away.
Post-Its with small Haikus on my wall
When you are stuck, start small. Maybe, write a couple of lines on a post it and stick it on a wall.
Paint a bottle. Take a video as you cook something, edit it in an editor.
Or just spend time playing with creation tools online like Incredibox.
Little Buddha on an Old Monk bottle - Not my work
It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to exist. You created something where nothing was present earlier. There was zilch before you put your skills into it to bring something to life. Pat yourself on the back, it's a big deal.
Don't worry about creating something small, casual or flimsy. Creation doesn't have a quota that you would not have enough left in you to make something serious. Quite the contrary. Creating these small projects could actually serve as a fertile ground for you to build your next big thing.
I had planned that I would not publish another new post on the blog until I release the book. I imagined that this would allow me to pour all my energy into finishing up the book. But, I felt something stuck inside of me which affected my writing process. Perhaps, I should have realised that I would derive energy from the simple act of writing whether it is on the book or not is irrelevant.
Brewed Green Tea. Made and edited a video
The energies you derive from doing these small, off the cuff projects, coalesce to support your big dream project. Human race has been moved forward by people who created, in their small chambers, irrespective of what is going to happen to their projects, simply for the joy of creating.
It is almost addictive like a drug whose fix you need regularly. Once you experience the high it gives you, you can never turn back. Only that it is much more beneficial and progresses us towards our quest to find meaning in our lives.
Jodhpur Riff Music Festival
Picture a massive fort with imposing walls that stands upon a hill accessible by roads that climb up, zig-zagging their way to the top. Inside that fort, musicians from all over the world have assembled bringing their own unique style of music with them. You are seated on chairs in a wide open courtyard surrounded by the tall, erect walls of the fort that stand cocooning you away from the world outside.
Mehrangarh Fort at 7 in the morning
But, it is not morning when you are in there (as it is in the above picture). Instead, it is midnight. The moon is waning, having seen the first day of the music festival in all its full glory.
You are not alone.
To the left of you are your friends with their eyes, ears and minds glued to the stage in front of them. To your right is a tiny 3-year old foreign kid with sunset yellow hair in an Indian kurta and pyjama. He sits on the floor, claps, leaps up, dances and plays with whomever he wants, oblivious of the rest of us. Carefree and obviously having the time of his life, he doesn’t smile though. It is as if the scene in front of him was one of the secret rituals of a ceremony that only he knows and was created just for him to take part in.
His mom is somewhere at the back. You know this because you had seen both of them eariler in the food courtyard. He looked sleepy then, probably waiting for things to get started. The mother looked like many years ago, she must have gone through a similar procession. Ragged clothes, pierced skin, a backpack, flip-flops - she exudes charm and natural cool that many of us can only look at, admire and idolise.
Behind us is a swarm of people equally interesting and completely interested in what was unfolding in front of us. Some are standing holding their drinks while others, their lover's hands. Rest are seated on a stone platform at the base of the walls surrounded by strangers wanting to strike up a conversation, smoking, listening to the music.
The Royalty of Jodhpur sits on one side against the wall - impeccably dressed in their regal attire - turbans, sherwani, swords - the works. Guards with curled up moustaches stood protecting them from the common folk.
The main attraction was lit up by an amalgamation of colors dispersing out of various strobes shining on the performers on the stage and reflecting against the walls.
Who the performer is on the stage is immaterial. You don’t remember much of how it sounded like except that when you were there, the music was solely what you thought about. No other thoughts entered into your head and you feel glad because of it.
The music lifts you up, drowns you down, moves you - takes you in circles, makes you smile, wonder and smile some more. You don't really know which category to place this music in. There is Rock, Sufi, Soul, Folk and many others. Often, they collaborate and produce unique sounds.
It is not too cold , just warm enough for a thin sweater. You take a sip of your drink. But, it is only customary, you don’t really need it.
Earlier, you sat at a ledge outside with your friends, legs dangling in the air. 200ft below, looking ahead in the distance, you see the many houses and people that make up the city. People dance on the roofs for a reason which you are not privy to. City appears a box full of more brown boxes with a few specks of color scattered around on top of people’s houses.
And it is midnight.
This is Jodhpur Riff Music Festival. I was there for only a night and day but it is already among one of my favorite live music experiences. I didn’t click many pictures of that night, there is no point. You have to be there to truly appreciate the grandeur of the event.
On the way to the fort at 4.30 in the morning
That night, we stayed at the fort till 3 am then came back to rest for an hour before leaving again for the finale at a different venue. Unlike most music festivals, this one didn't end with a grand last night. Instead a beautiful morning show ended the proceedings. It was by the brilliant Kabir Panthi Prahlad Singh Tipaniya whose work we are already a big fan of.
Prahlad Singh Tipanya - Tu Ka Tu
This was a completely new experience for me. We arrived at the venue for the morning show, Jaswant Thada which is a mausoleum, early in the morning when it was still dark. Tipanya Ji sat on the floor of the courtyard with his group.
Different shades of Jaswant Thada during the performance
The sun had not yet appeared, probably waiting for us to assemble before emerging. We lay our bums down on the bright green wet morning grass, others on the mattresses. Gradually, the light grew brighter and we shut our tired eyes and let the music sink in. Although, honestly, we couldn't really hear all of it - the exhaustion from the night before resulted in a few small naps interspersed with Tipanya Ji's booming voice and the sounds from the instruments of the rest of his group.
Eventually, we got up, roamed around, had a cup of tea, looked on the other side from where, again, the whole city and the Mehrangarh fort could be seen - all this time, the group kept singing songs of Kabir in devotion to God.
As it ended, we broke into an impromptu jig. The rest of the day was comparatively uneventful as we came back and rested for a bit before catching the train to back home.
From Jodhpur, we took back some fine memories and delicious sweets and kachoris. And left behind a promise to do this again.
For more photos of the festival, check out their Facebook page.
Two Cappuccinos, Some Cigarettes
"Two Cappuccinos, please."
I pulled a cigarette out of the box and lit it up. Ashish switched on his laptop.
"Bhai, this third question needs a lot of work," he said as he showed me his GMAT application for one of the many colleges he chose to apply.
"Yeah, let me have a look."
"This is such fuckery man. So many colleges, so many applications."
"You chose it."
"Yeah, bro. I have to get out of where I am."
"Hmm."
He lit up a cigarette. I tried to blow rings out of mine.
"Bro, I have to get into this college. I am running out of options."
I made a few edits to his application by fixing the grammar and adding words which can be worthy of representing the person sitting in front of me. His future dependent upon how an old man in a tweed jacket sitting in the familiar comfort of his office, with a shelf full of books, interprets these words.
"Here, look at this now. Does this seem better?"
"Nice. Can we change this line? It sounds a little casual."
"Nonchalant. That's the word you are looking for. Anyways, I'll edit it." I made a few more edits, carefully removing any remnants of the betrayal of my attitude about this whole application business.
Our coffees arrived just as we stubbed our cigarettes.
"Boss, you can place it here," said Ashish to the waiter as he shut down the laptop and placed it on the chair next to him.
We sat at the outdoor seating of a cafe on a bright weekday February morning. The winter weather is reluctantly taking its leave. The air has lost its chilly sting. The sun smiles a warm glow and is a lot more welcome than it would be in a couple of months. On the street opposite us, people in rickshaws, cars, bikes, on foot rush to get to their jobs.
"Man, I am so totally disillusioned by this whole thing," I remarked in a sudden outburst.
"By what thing?"
"This whole work thing. Getting up every morning, doing the same thing everyday."
"Yeah, I get you. But, gotta do it to feed this thing right here," pointed Ashish to his still not fat belly.
"I know. But, what I mean is why should it be so difficult and energy-sapping? Why should work have such negative connotations? There is something fundamentally wrong with the way we look at work and by we, I mean everyone."
I lit up another cigarette and sipped on the cappuccino. Ashish was already on his second cigarette but had not yet touch the cuppa.
"Dude, I just want to get out of India. Get a decent college abroad, find a good job and make a lot of money", said Ashish. He had probably day-dreamed about all these things while I was looking at people outside and ruminating on the deadly routine of everything around us.
"Why? Why do you want to make a lot of money?"
"I just want to chill man."
"THAT. Exactly that is the fundamental fallacy. Money doesn't buy you 'chill'."
"What does?"
"I don't know, yet."
Silence glided into our conversation as we smoked yet another cigarette. However cliched it is, there is a real joy in smoking a cigarette sitting in a cafe under the shade while the sun outside is shining bright and the breeze is cool enough to be nice but not as cold as to make you uncomfortable.
I peeked inside the glass wall separating us from the indoor area of the cafe. There is that couple which seems to be a part of every cafe as if they come free with your coffee - the one who hold hands, the guy keeps trying to make the girl smile and they seem completely over each other. A couple of girls who looked like they had skipped college talk animatedly. Outside, where we were, two big guys came and sat on the chairs next to us. They placed their cigarette boxes on the table-top and allowed their huge belly to take up the space between them and the table. They looked like men who beat people for a living.
"I have figured out the problem. Let's work backwards."
"OK", nodded Ashish.
"Look. My stress at work is a factor of how much pressure my client puts on me. Her stress is related to how much pressure her boss is applying on her, which, in turn is dependent upon the stress her boss's boss is under - so on and so forth. "
"Right."
"Eventually, it reaches to the top to the CEO who drives the whole chain of pressures and deadlines. Now, the fundamental reason for the stress and worries of so many people is what drives the CEO."
"Ahan."
"Are you listening or just nodding along?"
"Yeah man, I am listening. Go on."
"OK. So, if we figure out and fix the driving factor behind that CEO, we can potentially make lives of a lot of people easier. Take my client's company for example. The CEO is driven crazy by money - quarterly revenue numbers is his holy grail. But, does he really need to? I mean, he's already a billionaire or multi-millionaire at the least."
"Yeah, but maybe he enjoys money."
"Maybe. But, do you enjoy the money or the stuff and experiences you buy with it?"
"Hmm. True. But you do need that money to buy that stuff."
"Correct. But, what if you don't need that stuff?"
"What do you mean?"
"Think about it - all these companies selling us bags, clothes, watches etc. worth a fortune - what if we don't need all that stuff? Whom do we have to impress? So many industries have cropped up to feed on our desire to please someone else even at the disposal of our own sanity. Take advertising for example. If only we removed every form of advertising in the world, there'd be a lot less demand for stuff we don't need. Obviously, I am not thinking this through but you get my point, right?"
"Yeah, I do."
"There is something Will Smith may or may not have said but I am always reminded of it in such conversations - 'I wish everyone had fame and money and then they'll realise that it is not the answer.'"
I paused to take a puff of the whatever little was left of my cigarette.
"What if instead of focusing towards making more money, we could focus on making more people happy - yourself as well as the people you work with. Of course, happiness is a subjective term and has different meanings for different people. That's alright, make a company with people who have same definition of happiness as you. Instead of looking at quarterly revenue, let's look at how happy people are. No one wants to be poor so I am assuming, if everyone's happy, revenue will follow. I mean we work for a living, why kill ourselves working?"
"Amen to that."
"Anywho. Fuck! I am late for work."
"Bro, but we have to redo the fourth question also."
"Yeah, I'll see you in the evening."
You just read my first ever short story. If you liked/disliked what you read, please do add in your comments below. For a writer, apathy from his readers is worse than criticism. So, I'd love to know your thoughts.
Announcing Pre-Order of my First Book
Restart - Lessons from one startup for another
Let's get straight to business. This is an announcement for the pre-order of my first ever book 'Restart - Lessons from one startup for another'. Pre-order it here.
This is going to be an e-book so having a pre-order link doesn't really make much sense, except it does. Here is how:
Writing a book is a tough task, tougher than I had imagined. It is about perseverance as much as it is about writing well. The book is in draft right now and has been for more than 6 months. This post is my way of committing myself to a group of people so that I can finish what I started.
One of the biggest pleasures in this world is in conceiving something new. The start of a beautiful relationship. Starting up a new company. Moving to a new city. New resolutions and habits. But, the drudgery of taking it to completion through all the cycles of raising, rinsing and improving takes a toll on you. Often, we start on these enthusiastically only for it to die down later and then we move onto the next shiny thing that holds our fancy. What is left is a graveyard of projects with half-lived lives. And the ghosts of those unsatisfied lives loom on our future projects and affects them as well.
This is how I imagine musicians must feel when they can't finish up an album for years. With a big project, an idea can just inspire you to take an initial action. But the challenge lies in picking up the crumbs of your idea and putting it together in a coherent format for others to consume. Many dynamics come into play - the forces of the world and realities of life come into picture. You might change your jobs. You fall sick. You move to new cities. Maybe your collaborators aren't able to find time. Or your proofreader hasn't turned around to you. Or maybe, you just don't feel inspired.
Finishing a lengthy project is a big deal. Thus, I would consider it a huge achievement if I am able to complete writing this book. I tried doing it all alone but it has been delayed for a long time. Thus, I need your help. By announcing the pre-order, I am putting my resolution in a public domain. Seeing that people are buying the pre-order will hold me accountable and will help me finish the book in time.
This is infact a skill you can use in your daily habits as well. Find an accountability partner - just like you all are mine. Find people who will keep you on track of your goals and inform them of your progress.
Thus, the pre-order. It has a preview of the book with the first couple of chapters for free. You can choose to pay what you want for the book. This was a payment mode we had at Musicfellas and we were pleasantly surprised not just by the transactions but the generosity of people. Thus, I am happy to use it here as well.
If you think that this book will be useful to you, please consider sharing it. In this world of excess of information and the problem of plenty, the biggest satisfaction for a writer is seeing his work read by people who might find value in it.
Pre-Order 'Restart - Lessons from one startup for another'
Thank you for your time and for being a part of this book. For any questions, queries or feedback, email me at mj {at} mayankja.in. I'd love to hear from you. Thank You!
The Art of Showing Your Creativity - Advice by Austin Kleon
If you are a creative, take a few moments to consider the following points:
You believe your art should speak for itself
'Marketing' and 'promotion' discomfort you
You want your work to be discovered by more people
You want your art to get the recognition you think it deserves
You don't think you have a thick skin to deal with the trolls which come with sharing your work online
You want to add value to people's lives through your work
While sharing your art, you fear stepping on the wrong side of the fine line between adding value and spamming
As a writer, I associate myself to a lot of the above points. And so do a lot of other creatives. Painters, musicians, photographers, designers, filmmakers travellers, entrepreneurs and many other creatives are going through the same struggle of staying relevant, having their work seen by more people and at the same time maintaining the honesty and integrity in sharing your work.
Addressing these fears and issues, is a great book Show Your Work by Austin Kleon. This is a sort of manifesto of the current times for creatives to share their work the right way. Here are some of my notes from the book with some commentary. Hope you get around to reading the book and find it as useful and relevant as I did.
Note: Excerpts from the book are in italics
WHY SHOULD YOU SHARE
Once we start creating, our self-doubt tells us that your work is not good enough or maybe just not relevant to the people. But, more often than not, that's not the case. We grossly underestimate the usefulness of our own work.
“To someone, it may be better than you dare to think”
When you share ideas, sometimes conversations start around it. That is your contribution in this world. Give what you have, don't be a hoarder.
Scenius - Not all of us are geniuses. But, we grow with the help of the scene around us.
Find a scenius, pay attention to what others are sharing, and then start taking note of what they’re not sharing. Be on the lookout for voids that you can fill with your own efforts, no matter how bad they are at first.
She can share her sketches and works-in-progress, post pictures of her studio, or blog about her influences, inspiration, and tools - the thing she really cares about. By, doing this, she can really connect with the people who care about the same things as hers.
The biggest takeaway for me was the simple fact that what you find trivial might actually be very useful for someone else.
"You can't find your voice until you use it"
Sometimes, we wait for a while to find our own voice. But, how would we find it until we've used it in different scenarios? What niche of photography would you like until you start clicking different settings? Not everyone knows for sure as to which format of design they prefer until they try their hands at them.
Remember:
Work doesn't speak for itsef. Even the renaissance had to be found.
WHAT TO SHARE:
''What are you working on?' Stick to that question and you'll be good. Don't show your lunch or latte, show your work.
Before sharing anything, put it through the 'So What' Test. Would people care about what you are showing?
“Turn your flow into stock. Flow is the feed. It’s the posts and the tweets. Stock is the durable stuff. It’s the content your produce that is as interesting in two months (or two years) as it is today. It spreads slowly but surely, building fans over time”
Sloan says the magic formula is to maintain your flow while working on your stock in the background.
Your influences are all worth sharing because they clue people in to who you are and what you do - sometimes even more than your own work.
Share your process - this is an obvious yet fantastic piece of advice. A lot of people want to know how you do what you do and it can be very helpful for them. If you are signed up to my mailing list, you would see a direct result of this in my emails. I have started sharing things that inspire me, books I read, music I find therapeutic. By doing this, I hope I can connect with people who might enjoy what I write in my posts. Remember, you don't have to ensure that everyone in the world appreciates your art. You need to find only a handful to form a tribe who supports you when you need help and celebrates your victories.
HOW TO SHARE:
Build Sharing into your routine.
Don't give in to the pressure to self-edit too much. Don't try to be hip or cool. Being open and honest about what you like is the best way to connect with people who like those things, too.
People like to hear good stories. Learn how to speak about your work in a manner which evokes emotion. Read books by good authors and notice how they weave stories.
“The cat sat on a mat is not a story. The cat sat on the dog’s mat is a story.”
On Structure:
A good story can be created in the following structure: Once upon a time, there was _______. Every day, ______--. One day, ______. Because of that, _____. Because of that, ______. Until finally, ____________
There's a way to tell open -ended stories, where we acknowledge that we're snack-dab in the middle of a story, and we don't know how it all ends.
The minute you learn something, turn around and teach it to others. Share your reading lists. Point to helpful reference materials. Teach what you know. Share your trade secrets.
This is what I aim to achieve with this post.
Make stuff you love and talk about stuff you love and you'll attract people who love that kind of stuff. You want hearts not eyeballs.
"Compulsive avoidance of embarrassment is a form of suicide." If you spend your lfe avoiding vulnerabiliti, you and your work will never truly connect with other people. Learn to take a punch.
Don't quit your show.
You can't plan on anything; you can only go about your work, as Isak Dinesen wrote, "every day, without hope or despair." You can't count on success; you can only leave open the possibility for it, and be ready to jump on and take the ride when it comes for you.
How much of this would you be willing to use? I'd love to hear your opinions, suggestions and questions. Drop in an email or write in the comments below.
And as Kleon says, Credit is always due, so a hat tip to BrainPickings which has been a major source of inspiration for this post's format.
The One Skill to stick to your Resolutions
As I write this, I have multiple tabs opened up begging for my attention. My thoughts are jumping from one to another all directing me away from writing this post down.
"Maybe I should just read this article - it seems important."
"But, first I think I should put on some music, I'll be able to focus better then."
"I am thirsty, let me get some water."
"Let me just check Facebook feed for a bit."
"When's the Manchester United's match starting? I wonder if Di Maria is fit to play."
Distractions
This is my mind telling me not to do the important stuff and instead get caught up in distractions.There are multiple things at play here - I fear I might miss out on something 'cool' or 'interesting' if I don't read that article on the hot topic of the day. Most probably, it is the simple fact that writing is much more difficult than passive consumption of information. So, how do I deal with it? One skill:
Ignore your mind.
Allow me to elaborate.
With this new year, did you decide to join a gym or exercise more? May be you decided to eat healthier. Or perhaps, you want to read more. Or…............. Fill it in with whatever you decided to do this year. Although, I didn’t make any this year, I’ve made and broken enough resolutions to know how hard they are to keep.
As the year goes by, we start developing a lackadaisical attitude towards our resolutions, the frequency and intensity of our efforts fades away, and at the end of the year, we are left wondering how it ever came to this. What happened to all the plans we made? I feel, a lot of it has to do with our mind rationalising and giving us reasons to not do the things that matter.
You wake up in the morning, lying on your bed thinking of going for a run. But, isn’t it too cold outside? And you know, you have to reach office. You don’t feel that great anyways, there's always tomorrow.
This book you are reading is too boring, let's watch a youtube video instead.
You want to go out in the city on a photography trip, but it is too much of a pain. Getting off the bed, dressing up, traveling - let's just rest today instead.
So on and so forth.
Notice what is happening. This is you ‘thinking’ these things. Or more precisely, your ‘mind’ thinking these things for you. It is trying to rationalise why you should not do that hard thing and stick to the easier thing instead. This is what it always does. We are designed to reach towards the thing with the lowest barrier of entry.
Ignore it. Shut off this rationalisation. Tell your mind and yourself to hold off that thought for a later time and how grateful you would feel after completing this task. In fact stop thinking altogether. Just go do that thing instead.
Personally, I have found that this is by far the best skill that has worked for me. Every other skill (there were a lot I wanted to talk about), is good but haven’t found them to be useful personally.
To an extent, I have successfully implemented this in my writing habits. This post was written using the same skill. And am now trying to do the same with my running. I just get up, tie my shoes and go. No thinking involved. I push all the thoughts of hunger, tiredness, future engagements (including writing) to the back.
Preparation to practice this skill
Ensure that you have actively thought out the benefits of doing that particular task.
Envision yourself at that stage - a leaner body, a new job, more books read - imagine how you’d feel about it.
Make sure you know that this resolution of yours is good for you, so that at the time of doing it, you don’t argue with yourself against the benefits of doing it. I had made the decision of creating a running habit in full control and awareness. Having known its benefits, it became easier for me to follow through with it.
How to practice this skill
There are just two steps to practice this skill:
Notice when you skip an important task to do something less important. Take a note of how your mind convinced you.
Ignore that voice in your head. Shut it off completely.
Like every other skill, this requires practice as well. Sometimes, you will not be able to shut out your mind completely and it will overpower you and make you do things which don't really give you contentment. But, it is OK. It's alright to fail once in a while. Just remember to keep practicing till that resolution of yours becomes a habit and you can leave the crutches of this skill behind.
If this post helped you stay on track with your resolutions, I'd love to hear it. Add in your comments below.
Best Books I read in 2014
Did you get a chance to read any from the ones I suggested in 2013? I sure made it a point to lend those to as many people as I could. Even though I bought a Kindle this year hoping that it would help me reduce my paper footprint and will help me improve my reading habits, I couldn't find as much time for reading as I would have liked to. Most of my reading was compressed into few short sprints. And here are the ones which I found the best:
1. The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky - If you have read this book, seeing this book here wouldn't be a surprise to you. I found this book in a Reddit post called 'books that single-handedly made you change your life'. After reading the book, finding it in that list didn't seem too far fetched either. This was Dostoyevsky's magnum opus about which he said that he had written everything that he ever wanted to say in that one book. And boy, has he said it.
Illustration by Yours Truly
This is a voluminous work by all measures - it took me a long time to read it. It would have taken even longer had I paid attention all the time to the incredible detail that he has put in explaining the human nature and behavior. It is amazing to see when some authors weave psychology together with great storytelling to give us a beautiful reading experience.
I can go on and on in praises of this book but nothing that I can say would do justice to its depth. Suffice to say, read this book, and you will not be disappointed.
2. The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac - As I wrote in my book review, it filled me with an energy for life even with just its backcover. I would recommend this even before Kerouac's otherwise more popular On The Road. From the book review:
The back cover speaks of lines such as these: "descriptive excitement", "poetry jam sessions", "marathon drinking bouts". And never have I felt such a violent surge of energy inside me to go explore the world and do something crazy. I am not sure how much of it would I be able to do but it has made me sit down and write these few lines at the least.
3. Daily Rituals : Find Inspiration, and Get to Work by Mason Currey - This book tells us the daily habits and rituals of the leaders who have shaped our history and culture. Learning about the lives of all the great scientists, musicians, writers, politicians had a profound impact on me. It is surprising to see how many of these people were creatures of habits. I learnt that the best work is produced under constraints, usually self-imposed. A lot of my regular activity on this blog can be credited to inspiration from this book.
Other notable mentions:
- On The Shortness of Life by Seneca - Almost made it to the list except because of the reason that I read it only a week back and I like to give a book some time after reading to check how much of it stays with me.
- Show Your Work by Austin Kleon - As a writer, this book couldn't have come to me at a better time. It shows a no-nonsense way of the Whats, Whys, and Hows of sharing your work online.
Hope you get around to reading some of these books. For more book recommendations, articles on minimalism and leading a simple life, you can sign up to the mailing list.